Cloudy: -15C
When I first decided that I would go on 365 walks and write something about each on them, I took great joy in the idea. The walks added space and shape to my day and I looked forward to them. Now it is only the 11th walk and it seems like a chore. It has deteriorated into just another of the many things I have to do in a day.
I have to accept that not all of my walks will actually be walks. Sometimes there will just be the idea of walking.
I originally thought of this as an exercise in seeing, in being in the moment. It seems to me that the whole world is contained in every part of it. If you look deeply at the same thing over and over, you will see it differently every time and this seeing has the power to transform your life.
Instead of learning how to see, I am learning how much I don’t want to see. I don’t want to be profoundly present in the moment. I look at a tree and I see just a tree, the same tree I saw yesterday. The image of the tree glazes over the surface of my consciousness and barely leaves a dent.
Only when you are in the present is it possible to connect to Spirit. Is all this busyness and distraction so that God won’t get me? I wonder the next 354 walks or non-walks will teach me.
(If all this seems like old hippie thinking, I have come by it honestly. I came of age then and did all the things the era is famous for. Okay, maybe I smoked too much dope in my younger days.)
Your post today had me thinking that in many ways your daily walks are distilled versions of anyone's daily events: a commute is a commute; paperwork is paperwork; and making dinner is making yet another dinner.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's the familiarity that has reduced your walk to a chore. I'll suggest to my wife that we buy groceries at a different supermarket for the sole reason that it's different. She'll experiment with driving new routes to familiar locations for the same reason.
I'm an artsy/techy guy, but I use computer allusions for many things. I think of our minds as saving storage space by saying: "Oh, yes, I've seen that tree before so I don't need to remember it again."
The familiar get skipped over and time goes by fast without realizing it. But if you walk a different route, or listen to music, or bring a dog along... well then it's not the same thing and your mind will have to pay attention to it.
Reading your blog post reminded me of how runners get antsy if they don't get their daily run. Maybe soon enough your legs will be saying it's time for "walkies".
There's also walking meditation and today's post seems to show that your daily walks aren't necessarily about physically travelling from Point A to Point B.